Breaking the ice

Well I have been thinking about blogging for a long time now. I feel like I have so much running through my mind at any given moment.. it needs to go somewhere. And the usual suspects deserve a break from my ranting and raving.

I have a big heart...at least I think so. Others would disagree.. I think. I guess there are some out there who think that I have no care or compassion for them. The truth is it takes a lot for me to write someone off for good. I can actually tell you there is someone out there who doesn't deserve an ounce of my goodwill.. but I do not wish him harm... I don't wish him well... but I hope that he finds happiness wherever that may be. It wasn't with me.. nor do I think I deserve the things that transpired and greatly affected my life and the life of my child... but I am who I am because of the things that I went through. And well.. he is who he is through his choosing. Who is living their happily ever after??? I know I am.

My point is.. I give people way too many chances. It takes a lot for me to give up on them.. a lot for me to throw my hands up and walk away. Here's where that changed.

I have found recently that my "patience" and "tolerance" level have acquired a short fuse. I have never been one to hold much patience, but what I did have has recently dwindled to almost nothing. I feel... that I am an adult. I am tired of having to hold my opinions in JUST to appease someone else. If you can't take what I have to say with your big boy/girl underpants on then that's not my problem...anymore. I am so tired of loving unconditionally... and with that means holding my tounge and keeping my mouth shut. FOR WHAT!?!? So that it can hurt me? So that I can walk around with my heart broken because Heaven FORBID I tell you that what you are doing hurts me? No more. No more.

I LOVE MYSELF. I love my family. I love my husband. I love my children. I love all 500 million pets I have. Do not judge me because I have the cojones to stand up to you. Respect my decision to voice my feelings to you and to not carry them with me til I die, building up resentment and hate. And be an adult.. AGREE to DISAGREE. Having differences in opinion builds character. I would rather live alone and be full of character, than surrounded by people who constantly blew smoke up my a$$ because they were too afraid of how I would handle reality.

Follow me... don't follow me... it doesn't matter. I just have a lot to say... and I'm tired of holding it in.