I am fighting for who I am.

I don't know how to live in a world where what I want doesn't matter. I am use to having a voice, a very loud one at that. I am use to being able to have some say in my own life. But now it's like because my spouse is in the military and is at their beck and call, my life has ended? How does that work?

I never thought being a military spouse would be easy. I am not stupid and I surely am not naive. But putting my own life on hold? Putting my goals and dreams aside so someone else can fulfill theirs? Fine.. I've done that. Am I really expected to do that for the rest of my life??

If giving up everything I am as a person.. the being that has made my soul.. in order for someone else to live their life.. then something is wrong. I can't live in a world where my life is all about someone else.. and their life is all about them. Aren't we both suppose to make our lives about each other? AND still care about OURSELVES?

I can't do it anymore. I can't give 110% knowing that I am getting 0% in return. If I give you 110% and you give yourself 110%, what the hell do I get? I'm over this. I can't do it anymore. I don't know who I am anymore. I don't recognize the person I see in the mirror. I have a choice to adapt to the person I am becoming.. or fight for who I am.

I am fighting for who I am.