Open for discussion

Vince's aunt sent this email and requested it be posted on my blog. Respond accordingly. My reply will be below it.

Hi Maryleigh,

As always I hope this finds you and the kids doing fine as I think of you so often.

I debated weather or not to respond to your "blog" and was going to ignore it but then thought, NO I can't do that! Yes, I read what you wrote. And no, it did not come from your in-laws but from a relative here in PA.

I have lived, as have many others within our family, with a serviceman that has been stationed oversea's. This serviceman, Vince included, has one priority right now and that is not his "spouse" nor is it even his children. It is to himself, keeping himself alive and well, and to his country. So stop making this all about yourself. YES, I can read between the lines!

At the time, when Uncle Larry served in Viet Nam on the front line, the only means of communication was by letter. You are so very fortunate that you now have so many means of keeping in touch with Vince that Uncle Larry was not afforded. The one thing he loved was reading about home, weather this included what his mom/dad, brothers or sister, aunts/uncles, grandparents or friends were doing on a daily basis here in the U.S.A. He didn't care if any one of us told him that we went out to dinner, what we had to eat or the color of the napkins we used!!!! It's called keeping in touch!!!

Right now I would think that you would want all the support and love from any family member regardless of past differences, for Vince's sake! I think you need to remember it is not all about you. I don't know what planet you have just landed from nor how high that pedestal is that your on but you need to dig your feet in the good old soil of this great nation and thank all those that served in the name of their country before you for what you have! This includes what Vince is giving up right now by serving his country.

I really regret writing this but it seems that you could care less about what you put into your "blog" about anyone else but yourself. WAKE-UP and get a grip, this is your husbands life that you so carelessly disregard. I was Vince's aunt long before you entered the picture and will always remain his aunt the loves and cares alot about what is happening within his life where ever he may be.

I hope this opens your eyes and ears. This is to let you know how "all" our family feels about Vince and the support that you do have weather your willing to take it or just pass it by because you refuse to see this. I'm sorry if this offends you but right now I don't care. It was so plain that you don't consider anyone else's feelings so I think you need a dose of your own medicine!

I hope you share this entire letter with your fellow "bloggers", they may see the light!

As always,

Aunt Denise

MY REPLY

I gladly will.. obviously you didn't hear about the nasty letter his sister wrote him, or the nasty letter his mother wrote him.. I am merely the "target" because I picked up the phone and said enough is enough. I can gladly share with everyone the IM conversations between Vince and I.. but you are calling me selfish when he is in Iraq and he gets crap from his family for not keeping up communication when they could have cared less about it before he left?

We were very generous with our time with Jil before we left. It was my idea to include her at his send off event.. and my family was their supporting him LIKE always.

Jil's message to him went back to when Vince and I met, as well as BEFORE he and I met. The problems his family had with him STILL get brought up all these years later, even the ones that don't include me. However I am the result of ALL the problems. EVERYTHING is my fault. The lack of communication between Vince and his family is my fault. The problem Vince's parents didn't come to his wedding is because of me. The reason his parents were there immediately after Jil had both of the boys but they could of cared less to see our children, were cause of me. Seriously? What planet am I on? What planet is everyone else on that I am expected to believe that I am that horrible of a person that EVERYTHING is my fault? All the turmoil..all the problems.. it's all my fault?? THAT'S CRAP. Because Debby and I were fine.. and to my knowledge actually building a relationship.. so I thought... I didn't realize I was just being used as her connection to Vince until she could talk to him at her convenience.

You guys care so much about Vince?? I can't wait to see what his response to this is I noticed you didn't include him in your rant. I have NEVER asked him to choose between his family and me.. but I think you just did that on your own. You think this ALL comes from me.. just because Vince would rather not say anything because in his words "all it will do is cause another fight.." or "my mom is never wrong..." that's fine. At the end of the day.. Vince chose to marry me. Regardless of what his family thinks.. we were engaged in Feb.. invitations out.. and 2wks before the wedding I was pregnant. So NO I did not trap him.. and you can kill that little rumor that has gone on for 7 years almost. Vince chose to come out to CA the way he did ON HIS OWN. I told him not to leave like he did. Not to do that to his parents. He wanted to just leave his parents at the hotel when we had the blow up in October when they were here. I said make things right before they go back and before you deploy. I am done being the target. I guarantee you.. ALL OF YOU..since you took the time to send this to EVERYONE... that even if I leave... you will still have your problems with him. They existed long before me.. and they will exist long after me.

Even more so.. Makayden and Maxson are Millers.. but shunning children over having to "be right".. you can chase me out and roll me in the mud all you want.. but my children deserve MUCH more than this.