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I figured I should add a disclaimer of some sort on here. All my thoughts.. are original and unedited. I don't proof what I post before I post it.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Married to the National Guard

I knew we signed up for HURRY UP AND WAIT when DH joined the military. What I DID NOT sign up for is leave me in the dark, alone and scared. I am flippin LIVID with the NG.

It is not enough that my husband stepped up and VOLUNTEERED for deployment.. I don't think it is too much to ask for his family to have some type of support network. We have nothing. No FRG.. no liasion (although I have "heard of one")..no support what so ever.

To make it worse.. he is now being transfered to a different unit.. 2-4 hours away (there are 2 locations).

So now.. I am officially alone. And please don't say I am not alone..I have you guys.. I know I do. But sometimes.. it's not enough. All I want is someone near me who knows what I am going through. I have to friends that are navy wives.. but a 6month cruise.. doesn't compare to a 1year deployment in my opinion. They get their SO's back after 6months... with no R&R.. I may have to wait 6months or more for R&R.. just for him to leave again. So while they may be supportive.. it's still not the same to me.

I took 2 anxiety pills like 30min ago.. I am at my wits end and we are still months away from deployment. I am not about to say I am not strong enough to do this.. because I made it through BCT and AIT totaling 7months. But there is something different than before... I can't put my finger on it.. but I thoroughly feel alone.

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