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I figured I should add a disclaimer of some sort on here. All my thoughts.. are original and unedited. I don't proof what I post before I post it.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

I am a survivor.

Why is that when you think that you are finally getting everything under control... life throws you and unexpected... hurricane?

I understand that life is unpredictable... marriage is unpredictable.. but how can you work so hard to try to do right by everyone around you and it still not be enough to live a happy life. How can you give 100% of yourself only to not recognize the person in the mirror starring back at you.
How can one day you feel every emotion that God allows us to feel.. and the next day.. you are completely numb.

I know these are questions that don't have answers.. which is why they were written as statements. I know that no one has all the answers and part of life is finding ourselves. But how much turmoil must we suffer just to "rise above". I want my happily ever after. I have paid my dues in the crapstream department. I have survived the "mean girls" of high school. I have survived heartbreak. I have survived being sexually assaulted. I have survived an abusive husband who tried to kill me not once, but twice. I have been drug through the mud more times than I care to count.. or remember.. and I have survived them all.

Yes I am a fighter. Yes each thing I tackle makes me stronger. Yes I am a survivor.

But at what point do you get to stop fighting.. and just enjoy life. Enjoy all the things you have fought for. Enjoy looking in the mirror. Even more so... being able to recognize the person in the mirror.

1 comments:

tjb2 from awf

You are a strong and beautiful woman and you are a survivor! Keep your chin up, I'm sure there are sunny days coming your way! :)

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